At this very moment three of the four Monkees are playing at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater, Florida… and I’m NOT there. This will be the first concert I’ve missed of theirs in Florida since my very first concert at age 10 in 1987. To say I’m bummed out or sad is an understatement but, as my friend Jen mentioned earlier, “throw some cds on & celebrate that they can still sell out a concert!” And it’s true. I am very proud of them still. I just wish I were there celebrating instead of lying on the couch writing this.
You see, my first live concert being The Monkees in 1987 is a fairly significant point in my life. This is one of the last years I remember my family being together. We had lost my great grandmother in 1986 to breast cancer. In 1989, my Aunt Kathy passed away from complications of Leukemia. Three months later, my grandfather (my aunt’s dad) passed away from arteriosclerosis but my grandmother was always convinced he died of a broken heart. My Aunt Kathy was his youngest and she was a daddy’s girl. After my grandmother lost both her daughter and son, she was never the same again. Of course, her house being broken into shortly afterward didn’t help things either.
The last striking emotional blow to my grandmother came when my uncle David, her son, died of cancer in 2004. My grandmother had three kids; my Aunt Kathy, my Uncle David and my mom, Pam. By 2004, a year before her own death, she had already buried two of them. No parent should EVER have to bury a child. It’s just so… WRONG.
Over the years though, my grandmother never missed a birthday or anniversary. “Do you know what today is?” she’d ask me. When I was much younger I’d always say, “No. What?” Then she’d tell me what occasion it was, followed by a memory that would make her giggle or turn silent for a few minutes. I just wish she were still around now, so I could record these moments and piece the missing parts of my family together. We have reels of home videos needing explanation. My mom was so young, she can only remember so much.
So it’s not just missing the concert, being broke because I’ve been out of work for over a month sick or feeling too woozy to make the two plus hour drive by myself (because I’m the only one who cares about seeing this concert) that’s bumming me out. It’s all the memories that come with it… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
